March 2012
It's been a funny day on the news today and I thought it would be a good subject for this month's diet tribe, so here are my views on the news.
Today I learnt that the technical term for a petrol station running out of petrol is a "stock out".
I also learnt that you should only put one gallon of petrol in a five gallon Jerry can.
And that a pastygate is not a clever way to arrange the puff pastry on a pasty but a possible political catastrophe for the government.
What are they all on about? Well here are my opinions on the matter.
1. We are taxed closer to poverty every year, relentlessly. The extra 25p revenue I will contribute on my annual Cornish pasty makes little difference to me or the corporate finances of this fair country. Sack a few hundred government bureaucrats seems far more sensible.
2. Just because you add gate to it does not make it a scandal on the level of Watergate. Yes, you the press, this is a fact. The press treat us like idiots and I hate them all, except Sian on the BBC Breakfast News, oh and Susanna Reid and the others. Ok lets review that policy. I hate all journalists except the good looking ones that also make sense, oh and Charlie Stubbs. Clearly this policy is getting too complicated it may need revisiting later.
3. Why can you buy five gallon jerry cans if you're not supposed to store more than a gallon? Why not just sell one gallon cans?
I started this morning in a good mood and now I am depressed again. Ho hum back to the tablets.
STOP PRESSJust heard that Sian is no longer presenting Breakfast News. As if life could get any worse.
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